Sunday, December 20, 2009

PD Day 4, Evening Edition

Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck

What if I wake up after surgery and my symptoms are the same? What if I wake up and they're worse? What if I wake up and have all new problems? What if I wake up and I'm not as smart?

What if I don't wake up?

I can barely stand up and the pain, while only a 4 on the pain scale while sitting down, is persistent. I knit for a little while today while laying down in my son's room while he played video games. I get frustrated and overwhelmed really easily right now; everything is just so HARD. I feel like I did nothing today.

Again.

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