PD Day 5

My lucky bamboo nearly died. I bought it to remind myself to sit down and be thankful at least once a day. Sadly, I haven't done much of that lately. I should start again.

I'm thankful for so much right now. My loving partner who has taken wonderful care of me. A healthy child who is loving and patient with me and doesn't act out TOO much despite being scared out of his wits by this. An extended family of co-parents who gladly take on more so I can heal, and who throughout all of this I can trust to raise my son well should fate render me unable to do so.

That's not very likely though. From what I've read mortality rate from the surgery is really low- only about 2% from the studies I've read so far. Hopefully the neurosurgeon will have more information about my particulars.

Back to the gratitude.

My friends have been wonderful, with visits, calls, support, and kindness. My mother, father, and stepmother have been flexible with holiday planning (too stressful for me right now,) and have made it very clear that they will be there for me through this. My teammates at work who I've told have been outstanding-picking up the slack where I can no longer pull my weight. My other colleagues don't know yet; but I know they're wonderful people, full of love and kindness. I may even finally have a renter for my guesthouse, but I won't count that chicken until it moves in.

I have great health insurance. So far. For 15 years, no one has wanted to run any real tests, and I've been told over and over that there was no physical reason for my pain and discomfort. Yet 2 months into treatment for good old fashioned influenza, and they've found the needle in the haystack. I'm nothing short of stunned. And to think I was actually scared of switching to Kaiser. Of course, I know that they may deny me things that bring only a small quality of life benefit, but thanks to that policy, I can afford this surgery that otherwise might cost me my home.

I've decided to try and move around more. I did a bunch of walking today; I parked at one end of the Big Kaiser on Sunset and walked to my various stops along the campus. I walked up to the bank, and I walked down to Tiffany's house to pick up Caddy's present. I even did a little pilates with Caddy and Taliesin this morning. I feel better this evening than I did this morning.

I'm working on my short explanation of this whole business. I need a brief, reassuring, and honest description, seeing how I'll be doing a lot of that in the near future.